Don't Lose Your Head.

Hi! Missed me huh? I know I haven't posted in a while, it's ok because I'm posting right now. I'm sure many of you have been saying "Where's Raymond been? I miss him so much. He's so hot." Something like that. Anyways, I've just been chillin. I've been trying to sleep early because I felt a sickness coming on; so I've been drinking Theraflu at night and it puts me to sleep fast. Actually, I'm drinking a cup right now so if I start typing nonsense, it's because I'm falling asleep at the keyboard haha.

So I hung out with a good friend of mine today. We went to Subway for our sandwich cravings and then Starbucks for our coffee desires. I ordered a White Chocolate Mocha with soy and raspberry syrup. Hella good. I stole that drink from a special somebody ;) (not really). After the baristas served up our beverages, we sat in comfortable chairs and chopped it up for a lengthy time. I have to say that Hanh, the good friend, has quite a mind to speak. She has a lot to say. And I'm not saying that in a way where I mean she talks a lot and its just chatter chatter chatter. She has a lot of insight, especially when it comes to relationships haha. You see, she just got out of a long and troubling relationship. I'm not quite sure if she'll approve of me talking about her relationship in detail, although I don't know the details, but I'll try to speak about it discreetly and generally.

Pretty much, she went through a lot of young girls go through before they reach an epiphany. Foolishly in love, will do anything for her man, withstands a bunch of bullshit, tries to get out of it, only to fall back into routine time and time again. It's sad. Hearing what she had to say about it, brings an optimistic side of things. Before, I used to think there was no hope for girls. I used to think that some girls are just born to play with others' emotions and some are the opposite. Then after Vanessa, I realized that it takes time...A LOT of time for most girls to get over their first love. Now, after a conversation with Hanh, I see the better side of things. I see that she has learned her lesson and that she's only grown stronger from her situation. She wasn't saying things like "Omg...he's the only one for me, I need him, I can't see myself with anyone else, FML!!!" I asked her "If he became the guy you wanted to be, the IDEAL guy you've always wanted him to be, and that he's finally changed, would you get back with him?" She firmly said "No." No because she reasoned that people don't change. She's seen it before. She's seen her boyfriend "change" for a few months but ultimately going back to the way things were. And she's been through this vicious circle multiple times.

Some people are just the way they are. I know I've said this many times that people don't change. I say that because think of it this way: Why try so hard to be someone you aren't? If you have a certain personality about you and live a certain style, why deny it? You are that way for a reason. BE YOURSELF! I can relate to this because I tried to be a certain way for someone before. After a while, it gets tiring. You end up putting more effort trying to keep on this mask rather than putting effort into the actual relationship. Hanh made this strange, but accurate analogy: "A serial killer is a serial killer. Just because he doesn't kill today doesn't mean he won't kill tomorrow." I'm sure she means that just because someone is this persona that you've wanted is there one day does not guarantee that it'll be there the next.

I really enjoyed my sit-down with Hanh. She's a grown woman that knows what she's doing and knows what she needs to do. I admire her intelligence and spiritual strength. She admits that there are times of weakness and old feelings come up, but who doesn't suffer from that? We always start to reminisce and slightly wish things could go back to the time where the happiness was legitimate, but looking into the past only gets you lost for the future. She really inspired me to keep my head up, learn from my mistakes, and pretty much let it be. Just let it be. I realized that I shouldn't look for something or someone to blame, but to look for something or someone to learn. I've learned a lot and I'm still learning everyday. I only hope that others out there are learning too. It's not only the learning part of it, but the willingness to learn; the ability to swallow your pride and keep an open mind. It's a beautiful thing as to what the human spirit can overcome.