Confessions

So here i am again typing due to people begging me to post something new haha jk. Though i am not one to be open and express myself freely, i like to do it from time to time whether it takes me every three months or every three years. Don't get me wrong i try to be open but growing up i had no one to open too. This may sound like a sad story but its not i believe it has made me wiser and honestly i don't know why i'm speaking like this, maybe its be the recent activities going on that's grab my attention from my own little world or maybe its me realizing that i'm growing up and i still haven't accomplish anything.

Most of my life and probably til this day my mentality has been i can do it better then they can if only i had the proper height or lifestyle etc. But i was so ignorant to notice my own ego for that matter. At first i thought it was confidence then i thought i realize it was being conceded but it was just mere stupidity that has left me in these past couple of years wondering who was i and where did i belong. I'm still looking for that answer today but i'm not as anxious to find the answer, why? Because i spent most of my time trying to look for that answer and i have only found that i was wasting my time and that i let a lot of good things slip away. Luckily i have the company of a few good loking men they know who they are haha.

Honestly i may sound cliche but pretty much everything has already been done and said, im just trying to express myself from experience. I hope that made sense to you guys haha its just people only do things the way they do because thats how there taught. We take what we learn and attempt to apply it with our everyday life situation. I'm not trying to make life sound dull because it isn't, we all do the same thing we just choose to do it our own way. For example all of us are here to live how we live is up to us. Our jobs, or lifestyle, who we chose to love, and who we choose to hate.

Well the main point of my blog session today was letting everyone know that i might join the Air force. Why i might join the air force is because of what i said earlier, i haven't accomplish much in the last 3 years only to drop out of college twice. But the reason why i might not join is because i made a wager with myself and that's if by September i have done something to progress my life where im going somewhere then i'd stay and take a chance. I know 3 and a half months is short to prove to myself that i should stay but i wasted too much time being lazy and disappointing myself and my family. Well whatever happens im going to do my best not try, DO my best ive been trying these past 10 years and it has left me with nothing to be proud of. Well its getting early i havent slept and its 730 in the morning this will be the end of my post hope you enjoyed my rambling ill try to post more often to those who want me too. If you would like to suggest anything leave a comment i'll be sure to get to it in within the next few days haha because i check this blog o so often. other than that im out.

P.S. Felix how do i change my name from INTREX to something else let me know, If you even read this haha